Couples Counselling Vancouver
What Is Couples Counselling?
Couples counselling offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn about and strengthen your relationship while receiving professional guidance. Whether you’re going through a rough patch or simply want to get the most out of your time together, coming to therapy as a couple can help you develop communication and conflict resolution skills, build trust and intimacy, and deepen your emotional and physical bonds.
Ready to get started? Just click the button below to book a free 15-minute consult.
My Approach
Recognizing that no two relationships are the same, I adapt my approach to each couple’s unique needs, drawing from several relationship counselling frameworks. However, my work with couples is primarily grounded in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT).
EFCT is a leading relationship therapy which is based on the concept of attachment, meaning the evolved human need for close emotional bonds with safe, dependable others. In practice, EFCT helps romantic partners develop such connections through understanding of their negative interaction patterns and the attachment-related emotions that fuel them. It also encourages couples to adopt healthier patterns of communication characterized by emotional openness, accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement. Research suggests that couples who engage in EFCT may experience lasting reductions in conflict,¹ increased satisfaction with their relationships² and sex lives,³ as well as greater confidence in the stability of their bonds.⁴
What to Expect in Session
1. De-Escalating Negative Interaction Cycles
From the beginning, my focus is on creating a space where you and your partner feel safe, respected, and understood. Early on, I’ll meet with you together and individually to identify your current goals and challenges, including the cycle of conflict you two experience and the emotions and attachment needs underlying it. In doing so, we’ll shift your sense of the issue from “partner vs. partner” to “couple vs. cycle,” fostering a sense of teamwork and reducing hostility.
2. Changing Interaction Patterns & Restructuring Attachment
Once you are better able to approach one another with curiosity and compassion, I’ll help you deepen your connection through open and vulnerable communication about your experiences within the relationship. As we explore your attachment-related emotions, wants, and needs, we’ll ensure that you each feel heard and supported by the other. Over time, this increased accessibility, responsiveness, and emotional engagement will promote a greater sense of trust and safety, leading to a more secure bond.
3. Integrating & Consolidating New Patterns
As counselling comes to a close, we’ll use the new insights, skills, and positive patterns of interaction you’ve established to address any unresolved relationship concerns. We’ll then highlight the progress you’ve made, ensuring that you feel confident integrating these new ways of being with each other into your lives so that you can maintain a resilient, secure, and loving bond well beyond the end of therapy.
Who I Work With
I support adult couples (i.e., those 19-65+ years old) at every stage of their relationships, whether they’re dating, engaged, cohabitating, common law, or married. Though each couple brings with them unique circumstances, backgrounds, and relationship histories, many who seek counselling with me do so for similar reasons, including:
- Frequent, repeated, or escalating conflict
- A sense of emotional, mental, or physical disconnection from one another (e.g., feeling “like roommates” or that they’ve “lost their spark”)
- Struggles with communication (e.g., feeling misunderstood, unheard, or invalidated)
- A lack of trust or emotional safety (e.g., following infidelity, breaches of trust, or past trauma)
- Overwhelming stress, often due to significant life transitions (e.g., the birth of a child, loss of a loved one, or job change)
- A desire to build a stronger, more resilient relationship for the future
What I Can Help With
In addition to the issues listed above, I have experience supporting couples with the following:
- Addiction and Substance Use
- Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
- Balancing Quality Time and Independence
- Boundary Violations
- Commitment Concerns
- Communication Difficulties
- Complex Family Structures (e.g., Blended and Stepfamilies)
- Conflict Resolution
- Controlling Behaviour
- Cultural and Spiritual Differences
- Depression and Low Mood
- Disconnection (e.g., Mental, Emotional, and Physical)
- Diverse Relationship Structures (e.g., Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy)
- Divorce and Separation
- Emotional Regulation
- Family Conflict
- Gender Role Expectations
- Goal Setting
- Grief and Loss
- Health Issues (e.g., Mental Health Diagnoses, Disability, or Chronic Pain)
- Infertility and Pregnancy Loss
- Infidelity/Cheating, Betrayal, and Trust Issues
- Insecure Attachment (e.g., Jealousy, Fear of Abandonment or Intimacy)
- Life Transitions (e.g., Marriage, Parenthood, or Retirement)
- LGBTQ2S+ Issues
- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Parenting (e.g., Differing Styles)
- Relationship Anxiety
- Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD)
- Stress Management
- Sex, Sexuality, and Intimacy (e.g., Differing Levels of Desire)
Benefits Reported By My Clients
In the closing stages of counselling, couples are encouraged to reflect on the new ways they’ve learned to interact with one another and how these have improved their relationships. In addition to the benefits of EFCT documented in research (see “My Approach” above), couples I’ve worked with have reported the following:
- Better understanding of their negative interaction patterns, as well as their causes and impacts
- Conflict occurs less frequently and feels less threatening, less likely to escalate, as well as easier to resolve
- Communication becomes more clear, open, thoughtful, empathetic, and validating
- A greater sense of closeness, connectedness, presence, and focus on quality time/shared activities
- More romance, physical intimacy, and a better sex life
- Stronger, more resilient responses to stressful events impacting the relationship
- Increased trust, safety, and security, as well as more patience, forgiveness, teamwork, and commitment to the relationship
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